He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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