I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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