I love black thongs
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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