I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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