We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
