You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
