my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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