Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
