those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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