My cat gives me a boner
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
