I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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