I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
it hurts more in the daytime
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
