I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
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