Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
