It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
