im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
