Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Can I color on your dick again?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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