just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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