Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
