Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
