i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
