we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
