The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
