We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
