I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
