sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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