I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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