don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
