I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
