he shaved USA in his pubs
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
