I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
