i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
