i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
