You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
