I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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