a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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