I think I died a long time ago.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
