Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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