So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
