So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
