used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
