i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
