I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
