yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
