She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
