Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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