answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
