Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
