Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
