I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Come on in and take your pants off
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