Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you told grandpa to call you daddy
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
