Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
